To Feel Again

If you touch me I feel your hand
If you hug me I feel your love
If you kiss me I feel your passion
But inside I feel nothing
No flicker of joy lights my soul
My body feels empty, devoid of all that I am
And as I try to uncover what’s buried inside
I’m forced to face the other deep within
A blackness so complete, impenetrable to all
A void sucking at the essence of everything that’s me
How do I recover what’s lost in that black hole?
I fight my own thoughts from controlling my actions
This battle is tiring, this soldier exhausted
I wave my white flag in the darkness
Maybe surrendering won’t be so bad
But then I think of your touch, your hug, your kiss,
And again I make my stand
I long to feel those things you feel
The feelings I once enjoyed
So long I’ve been numb to all
To this emptiness deep inside
To feel again, the joy of life
The feelings I held so dear
This hope is what keeps me from succumbing
To feel again, is why I’m still here.